How to Manage an Independent Surrogacy Journey in Canada

Independent Surrogacy in Canada: A Step-by-Step Guide 

Not every intended parent works with a surrogacy agency. Some find a surrogate within their circle of family and friends, some connect with potential surrogates through online communities, and others work with an independent surrogacy professional to create and share a profile.

This is often called an independent surrogacy journey. An independent surrogacy journey in Canada can be a positive, collaborative, and more personal way to build a family. It can also involve a great deal of coordination. Without an agency managing the process, the intended parents and surrogate need to keep track of screening, counselling, legal work, reimbursements, appointments, communication, and post-birth planning themselves. If responsibilities aren’t clear, important steps can be missed, misunderstandings can arise, and the journey can be delayed.

The good news is that you don’t have to figure it out alone. With a clear plan and the right professional support, the parties can remain in control of their journey while moving through each stage with confidence. At Flowerday Fertility Law, I help intended parents understand what needs to happen, when it needs to happen, and who should be involved along the way.

The key is to take the journey one stage at a time, in the right order.

1. Decide What Kind of Surrogacy Relationship You Want

Before searching for a surrogate, intended parents should think carefully about what they hope the relationship will look like.

Consider questions such as:

• Do you hope to have a close relationship during the pregnancy?
• What kind of contact would you like after the child is born?
• Are you comfortable with a surrogate who lives in another province?
• How frequently can you travel for appointments or visits?
• What are your expectations around communication, privacy, social media, and family involvement?
• Are there important views or values that you’d like to share with a surrogate?

There isn’t one correct model. Some parties communicate daily and become extended family. Others have a warm relationship with more defined boundaries. What matters is finding a relationship that feels genuine and workable for everyone.

2. Find a Surrogate in Canada

For many intended parents, the first place to look is within their existing circle of family and friends. Someone who already knows your story may have thought about helping but may not know how to begin the conversation.

You can let trusted people know that you’re exploring surrogacy without directly asking anyone to carry a pregnancy. A thoughtful letter, email, or conversation can explain your circumstances and invite people to share the information with others. This gives potential surrogates space to consider the idea without feeling pressured.

Some intended parents connect with a surrogate through Canadian social media groups created for independent surrogacy journeys. These groups can be valuable, but they require patience and caution. Avoid treating the process like a transaction. Take time to learn about the person, confirm that their expectations are compatible with yours, and be alert to requests for payment that don’t fit Canada’s altruistic surrogacy framework.

When parties meet online, it is also prudent to verify identities and consider criminal record checks before confirming the match. This should be a mutual and transparent process, with both the intended parents and the potential surrogate given the opportunity to complete appropriate checks.

You may also choose to work with an experienced professional who helps intended parents create a profile. A strong profile should sound like you. It can explain who you are, why you’re pursuing surrogacy, what kind of relationship you hope to build, and the support system you can offer. Professional photographs and clear, warm writing can help, but authenticity matters more than polish.

Finding a surrogate can take time. A meaningful match is more important than a fast one.

3. Talk Through Surrogacy Expectations Before You Commit

An initial connection isn’t the same as a confirmed match. Before anyone commits to moving forward, the intended parents, surrogate, and, where applicable, her partner should discuss the practical and emotional parts of the journey.

Important topics include:

• the type and number of embryos that may be transferred
• whether embryos have undergone genetic testing
• views about prenatal testing, selective reduction, and termination
• expectations if a pregnancy becomes medically complicated
• communication with the fertility clinic and prenatal care providers
• attendance at appointments, ultrasounds, and the birth
• travel during pregnancy
• vaccinations, medications, health recommendations, and lifestyle expectations
• privacy and what may be shared with relatives or on social media
• contact during pregnancy and after birth
• the surrogate’s support system and her partner’s involvement
• reimbursement expectations, anticipated costs, and record-keeping
• lost income, childcare, travel, insurance, and postpartum recovery
• plans in the event of miscarriage, stillbirth, multiple pregnancy, or extended bed rest

These conversations aren’t meant to eliminate every possible difference in values or opinions. Rather, they help everyone understand whether they can make difficult decisions together with trust and respect.

It’s especially important not to rush a match because either side feels emotionally invested. Everyone should be free to step back before treatment begins.

4. Contact the Fertility Clinic for Medical Screening

Once the parties would like to explore a match, contact the fertility clinic that will manage the embryo transfer. Ask for the clinic’s surrogacy coordinator or third-party reproduction team, if it has one.

The clinic will explain its requirements and open or update the parties’ files. It will usually ask the surrogate to complete medical screening and provide relevant health, pregnancy, and delivery records. Her physician may also need to complete forms or send records directly to the clinic.

Medical screening may include a review of prior pregnancies and deliveries, physical testing, infectious disease screening, bloodwork, imaging, and an assessment of whether another pregnancy is medically appropriate. Exact requirements vary by clinic and by the circumstances of the journey.

Intended parents should confirm:

• which records and tests are required
• whether the surrogate’s partner needs screening
• how long screening results remain valid
• whether any tests can be completed closer to the surrogate’s home
• the clinic’s requirements for counselling and legal clearance
• who will coordinate medications and the transfer calendar
• whether the clinic has specific forms or wording it requires from the lawyers

A promising match isn’t medically cleared until the clinic confirms that its requirements have been satisfied. Don’t make non-refundable plans or assume that a transfer date is available before receiving that confirmation.

5. Complete Surrogacy Implications Counselling

Implications counselling gives everyone a confidential setting to explore the emotional, relational, and practical realities of surrogacy. It isn’t simply a box to check. It can identify expectations that haven’t yet been discussed and help the parties prepare for situations that are difficult to imagine at the beginning.

Counselling commonly addresses:

• motivations and readiness
• the effect of the journey on partners and children
• attachment, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum emotions
• boundaries and communication
• pregnancy loss and unsuccessful transfers
• decision-making during a medical crisis
• disclosure to the child and others
• expectations for the relationship after birth

The fertility clinic will usually specify who must participate, whether joint and individual sessions are needed, and what confirmation the counsellor must provide. Choose a counsellor with experience in third-party reproduction and confirm that the clinic will accept their report or letter.

Because clinic protocols differ, medical screening and counselling may overlap. Ask the clinic to confirm the required sequence at the outset.

6. Sign a Canadian Surrogacy Agreement

After medical approval and implications counselling, the parties move to the surrogacy agreement. The agreement should be completed before the surrogate begins medication for an embryo transfer.

The intended parents retain a fertility lawyer to prepare the agreement. The surrogate must have her own independent lawyer. Her lawyer explains the agreement to her, advises her about its legal and practical consequences, and negotiates changes where appropriate. The intended parents ordinarily cover the reasonable cost of the surrogate’s independent legal advice.

A Canadian surrogacy agreement typically addresses:

• the parties’ intentions and eligibility
• medical treatment and embryo transfer plans
• informed consent and bodily autonomy
• communication and confidentiality
• prenatal care, testing, and pregnancy decisions
• reimbursement of eligible expenses
• lost income and supporting documentation
• insurance and risk planning
• expectations for the birth and hospital stay
• the intended parents’ responsibilities for the child
• steps required to confirm legal parentage after birth
• what happens if the journey is delayed, unsuccessful, or ends early

The agreement is an important planning and informed-consent document. It doesn’t give intended parents control over a surrogate’s body or medical decisions. It records the parties’ intentions, allocates responsibilities, and gives everyone a framework for navigating the journey.

Creating Your Surrogacy Agreement with Plaid Fertility Law

At Flowerday Fertility Law, surrogacy agreements are created through Plaid Fertility Law, our own digital platform designed to make the agreement process faster, easier, and more responsive. Intended parents complete a series of guided prompts at their own pace, either independently or with my assistance. Plaid then generates a fully tailored surrogacy agreement based on their particular journey.

Once the agreement is generated, the “Book My Review” button becomes available. We meet to review every part of the agreement, discuss any questions or concerns, and make any necessary revisions before sending it to the surrogate’s lawyer for independent legal review.

After both lawyers have completed their work, Plaid streamlines the signing process and the delivery of legal clearance to the fertility clinic. The clinic should not proceed with the embryo transfer until it has received legal clearance. By bringing each stage of the legal process into one platform, Plaid reduces unnecessary back-and-forth, minimizes delays, and helps everyone move toward embryo transfer with confidence.

7. Create a Compliant Reimbursement System

Canada permits altruistic surrogacy. It is illegal to pay someone to act as a surrogate, but a surrogate may be reimbursed for eligible out-of-pocket expenses incurred in relation to the surrogacy.

Under the federal reimbursement rules, anticipated expenses and unaccountable allowances aren’t permitted. Before making a reimbursement, intended parents must receive the required signed declaration, receipts, and any supporting medical recommendation or certification that applies. The person making the reimbursement must record the amount and date of payment, sign the declaration, and keep the reimbursement records for six years.

Eligible expenses may include categories such as travel, parking, meals, accommodation, care for dependants or pets, counselling, legal services, medications, maternity clothing, groceries, telecommunications, prenatal exercise, and certain health or wellness products or services. Eligibility always depends on the expense being incurred in relation to the surrogacy, and some products or services require a written recommendation from an authorized health professional.

Loss of work-related income has additional rules. In particular, medical certification and proof of the income actually lost may be required. The surrogate also can’t be reimbursed twice for the same loss through employment benefits, insurance, or another source.

For an independent journey, a simple reimbursement routine can prevent confusion:

1. Agree on a weekly or monthly submission schedule.
2. Use a standard reimbursement declaration.
3. Attach clear receipts and required supporting documents.
4. Identify the date, purpose, and amount of each expense.
5. Pay by a traceable method, such as electronic transfer.
6. Record what was paid, when it was paid, and by whom.
7. Store all documents securely for at least six years.

Reimbursements deserve their own detailed discussion. The rules are more nuanced than a list of approved purchases, particularly when dealing with groceries, wellness services, vehicle mileage, lost income, bed rest, and postpartum recovery. When an expense is unclear, get legal advice before reimbursing it.

For current federal guidance and sample declarations, see Health Canada’s information on reimbursing a surrogate’s expenditures and its reimbursement guidance document.

8. Coordinate the Embryo Transfer and Early Pregnancy

After legal clearance, the clinic can finalize the treatment schedule. In an independent journey, decide who will track medications, appointments, travel, test results, and reimbursements. Put dates and responsibilities in a shared calendar, while respecting the surrogate’s medical privacy.

Discuss how the parties want to receive updates, who will attend the transfer, and what support the surrogate may need afterward. If the transfer is unsuccessful, give everyone time to process the result before making decisions about another attempt.

Once pregnancy is confirmed and the clinic graduates the surrogate to obstetrical or midwifery care, make sure records and relevant information are transferred promptly.

9. Plan For Pregnancy, Birth, and the Postpartum Period

Good communication becomes even more important as the pregnancy progresses. Schedule regular check-ins, but don’t make every conversation about the pregnancy. Revisit expectations if medical circumstances, work, travel, or family needs change.

Around the middle of the pregnancy, contact your fertility lawyer about the hospital letter and post-birth parentage process. The hospital letter helps the hospital understand the parties’ intentions, the baby’s care, discharge planning, and who should be contacted when the child is born.

Birth planning should include:

• who will attend the birth, subject to the surrogate’s wishes and hospital policy
• who will make medical decisions for the baby after birth
• feeding plans
• hospital identification and discharge procedures
• accommodation if the intended parents are travelling
• reimbursement and practical support during postpartum recovery
• the documents needed after birth

The legal parentage process depends on where the child is born and the parties’ circumstances. Don’t assume that the signed surrogacy agreement automatically completes birth registration or parentage. Get province-specific advice well before the expected delivery date, especially if the intended parents live outside Canada.

Independent Doesn’t Mean Unsupported

An independent surrogacy journey doesn’t have to be a do-it-yourself legal or medical process. It simply means that there is no agency coordinating the match and managing the journey.

The strongest independent journeys usually have a clear structure and an experienced team. That team may include a fertility clinic, implications counsellor, fertility lawyers for both sides, financial or insurance professionals, and supportive family members. I can also make referrals to reputable professionals who can support the parties at each stage of the journey.

With the right plan and professional team, an independent surrogacy journey can feel organized rather than overwhelming. The parties can move from matching to medical clearance, embryo transfer, pregnancy, birth, and parentage knowing what comes next and where to turn for support.

Take the process in order. Invest time in the relationship. Ask difficult questions early. Keep careful records. Most importantly, make sure that both the intended parents and the surrogate feel informed, respected, and independently supported from the first conversation through the child’s birth.

If you’re planning an independent surrogacy journey in Canada, Flowerday Fertility Law can provide the legal plan and guidance you need. We can guide you through the surrogacy agreement using Plaid Fertility Law, legal clearance, hospital planning, and the post-birth parentage process, and connect you with reputable professionals for other stages of the journey. 

Contact us early in the process to discuss your next step and move forward with a clear plan.

This blog provides general information about Canadian surrogacy and isn’t legal advice. Surrogacy and parentage laws vary by province and territory. Speak with a fertility lawyer about your circumstances before proceeding.

Frequently Asked Questions About Independent Surrogacy in Canada

Can you pursue surrogacy in Canada without an agency?

Yes. Intended parents and a surrogate can pursue an independent journey, provided they complete the clinic, counselling, legal, and other requirements that apply to them. Without an agency, the parties take on more responsibility for coordination and record-keeping.

What should intended parents and a surrogate discuss before committing?

The parties should discuss their expectations for the relationship, communication, embryo transfers, prenatal testing, pregnancy-related decisions, reimbursements, lost income, appointments, the birth, postpartum support, privacy, and contact after the child is born. They should also talk about how they would approach difficult circumstances, including an unsuccessful transfer, pregnancy loss, medical complications, selective reduction, or termination. These conversations help everyone determine whether their values, expectations, and communication styles are compatible before they commit to the match.

Can intended parents pay a surrogate in Canada?

No. Paying consideration to a person to act as a surrogate is prohibited in Canada. A surrogate may, however, be reimbursed for eligible expenses incurred in relation to the surrogacy when the reimbursement complies with federal law.

When should the surrogacy agreement be signed?

The agreement should be completed after the parties have had appropriate screening and counselling, but before the surrogate begins medication for an embryo transfer. The fertility clinic will generally require a legal clearance letter before proceeding.

Does a surrogate need her own lawyer?

Yes. The surrogate should receive independent legal advice from a lawyer who doesn’t represent the intended parents. This protects everyone and ensures that her consent is informed and voluntary.

What is the biggest challenge in an independent surrogacy journey in Canada?

The greatest practical challenge is often coordination. Someone must track clinic requirements, counselling, legal work, expenses, appointments, birth planning, and parentage documents. A written timeline, shared expectations, and clear roles can make the process much more manageable.

Who manages reimbursements in an independent surrogacy journey?

In an independent journey, the parties can manage reimbursements themselves. They will need to establish a process for submitting receipts and declarations, reviewing expenses, making payments, and maintaining the required records. If the parties don’t have the bandwidth to manage the financial aspects of the journey or would prefer to keep finances out of their day-to-day relationship, they may retain an agency that offers reimbursement management as an unbundled service.

What happens if there’s a dispute during surrogacy?

Fertility lawyers should take a conciliatory, non-aggressive approach to disagreements arising during a surrogacy journey. The first goal should be to understand the concern, preserve the relationship where possible, and help the parties reach a practical resolution. If the disagreement can’t be resolved informally with the assistance of counsel, the parties can use the alternative dispute resolution process provided for in their surrogacy agreement.